6.58pm

at this moment, i ask myself;
what is love? if you fail in love, you will be utterly hurt, cry, sob, disappointed.
if you succeed in love, what do you get? a partner to accompany you? someone to hold? hug? kiss? is it really that important? and the most you will get is make a family with him or her? and then spend your later part of your life together?
i see no point in doing all these..cause for me, since the chances of failing is higher, i dont see the reason for hurting myself. of course, if you find someone you like, and likes you too, then go for it.
but whats the percentage of that happnening? most of the time, you dont get what you desire for in life. its just so unfair.
people reading this post may think that i dont know anything about love. i agree. i once was drowned in it, loved the feeling of being loved. but i just dont remember how i changed to this state. but since im here, i'll just have to face it.
so why are people doing things to hurt themselves? why do people want to do that? its no difference from paying to kill yourself.
this post maybe shit and crap next time, but for now, i question myself what is love? what do you get from it? happiness? are you trying to say that you cant be happy without love? i think, you will be happier without it. when you succeed in love at a young age, you tend to foresee some important things in life. you tend to not care about people around you. and they will hope to see you return to your normal self, but watching you having a nice time with your partner, they'll just keep quiet.
people say that love is blind. i say that lovers are blind. they will not see nor feel things around them. open/close their eyes, theres only their lover's image. if you are unlucky, people around you will just start to avoid you. and soon, your partner too.
thats the time when you will be alone. no one to talk to, no one to lean on. and if theres someone of the opposite gender who comes forward and comfort you now, you will like them, and the cycle starts again.

baah..this post maybe meaningless la.. but its a good way to spend my time =)

what the hell is wrong with me? i cant control my own emotions..she just keeps appearing in my mind..can there be a solution to this shit? its getting on my nerves..

another boring day..dont mind me..everyday is boring for me..just a word that i use daily =.= baahh sian lor..reached school at around 11am..half hour late..after that go com lab..even more sian...cant something happen in my life to make me not sian??

hmmm..i succeeded styling my hair everyday.. o.O not bad seh..great responses from friends and classmates.. hahha even laila said : douglas, you got nice fanciful hair. she asked my whether i wanna be hairstylist in the future =.= thats like..so boring?? look at hair everyday..imagine that man!! omg~!

how long more till i can reach out for my dreams?? ii seriously cant wait anymore......

people people..please comment on my bg music..lol..isit too noisy?? =\ tag your comments please!!

waa today so sian..hmm..which day am i not sian?? o.O 7+ reached school..then lesson start from 8 to 3.30..wth man!! its longer than normal school days! i prefer to have normal school lessons lor..at least still got food? maybe.

lol..did a new hairstyle today..alittle change nia la..but very tall =.= lol..lai la said.."douglas, dont forget you are still in school" =.= how can i forget?? im wearing the damn uniform =X

THIS IS JUST THE START~!!

cool man..today chinese o levels!! lol.. never expected that the compo title would be that simple.. hmmm..can write about anything under the sun ( i think) wa lauuu...sien..hope i can reach my expectation..ahh~ life is so sien!!

starting to reach out to my goal.. difficult as it may seem la..but i will not give up.. give me the chance and i'll do it xD

bwhahahahahaah sienness seh..im never gonna be my old self again.. too tiring.. too boring for me..

waa..went nian house after the exam.. damn cool sehh.. bass, drum, guitar.. lol..and bike! hahah swee lin went straight to the room and play xbox la..we went out to the living room to read some guitar tags..then the room suddenly become very quiet..we thought swee lin watching porn..cause hes the only one inside.. LOL .. when we enter the room... (wanna know the ending ask swee lin yourself..)

waa..finally start blogging again.. whole new .. background image xD hahahah not blogskin =D new videos new song blah blah..if i were to change the whole skin..it will take quite awhile la, so i decided to change these first..until i find time in the holidays..

man..tml chinese o's!! die la..want to study..nothing to study!! wth man..i really wanna get higher than my expected msg. dont wanna retake chinese again. such a waste of time. ahhhhh sian!!

i really did had some long thinking session last month..some reminiscences about what happened..and what i did. i have good friends. people who supports and cares for me. i seriously cant disappoint them..

GUYS!! i'm back!! better than ever =D thanks for the care.

Day 7

Friday, 21st April 2006

one last wish..

i just hope that i'm more than just a friend to you..

Day 3

give me some more time please!! crap..its really difficult to have such a big change suddenly..sorry guys..